Something Gained and Something Lost
by Cracked silver
Summary: What if there had never been a war? What if Dean and Cas had meet in high school under less stressful, yet still angst-y, circumstances? This is my take on the idea...This is rated M for language, smut, and angst. And it's going to be boyXboy so if you don't like it, don't read it!
1. That is MY chair'

_What would happen if Dean and Cas hadn't meant while Lilith was breaking the seals? What if they had met in a setting full of more…trivial angst? From the crazed mind of yours truly, I bring you what _I _think would happen if Dean and Cas had met in high school..._

_(There will be references to the show, but it's not going to be exactly the same, so don't yell at me, please! This will go back and forth between Dean's point of view and Cas'. Maybe Sammy will narrate at some point! And I own nothing, of course! [Oh, but how I wish…] _Supernatural _belongs to Eric Kripke and all those other fantastic people! Hopefully you know who you are!)_

No. No, no, no. This couldn't be true. He was dreaming, right? This was all just a very, very bad dream…

Dean Winchester stared blankly at the email, still convinced he was having a nightmare. He read it again, then read it a third time, letting out the breath he'd been holding as the words finally sunk in. There was no typo, no mistake that could be corrected.

He'd gotten a place in the Honor Band, had gotten second chair, and someone named Castiel had gotten the same exact chair. He had tied with someone.

_'How do you tie with someone when you play the sax?' _He thought angrily. _'How many other fucking sax players are there at school?' _

There were a total of three. He had thought he was the only one who took it seriously, though. He knew Regina couldn't give a rat's ass about the instrument. Had this Castiel person actually worked hard enough to get into Honor Band? He narrowed his eyes slightly. He didn't care if Castiel had played until he had gone cross-eyed staring at the sheet music. Dean didn't much appreciate the idea of sharing the spot he'd worked so hard to get. It just wasn't fair.

Dean sighed; he knew people didn't expect him to be book smart. That was Sammy. Sammy was the good kid who got straight A's and never ditched. Dean was the reckless older brother who ditched and had gotten straight C's since the seventh grade. But it wasn't because he was stupid. He didn't try, so his grades dropped. It was as simple as that, but his father assumed it was because he struggled with his classes. He gritted his teeth. That wasn't true. It couldn't be farther from the truth, but he knew no one would listen. Sam would listen sometimes, but it was obvious he felt bad for his big brother. Dean laughed bitterly. No wonder his announcement had been such a shocker. After all, how could he be good at anything but getting himself into trouble?

_He walked up the path leading to his front door, biting his lip. If anyone had asked how he was feeling at that moment, he would have only one answer. Nervous as fuck. He had decided to join the band at his school since his father had said they wouldn't be moving for another year at least. Dean figured he may as well enjoy that year, so why not join band? He _did _play the sax, and he wasn't half bad at it, either. But he wasn't sure how his old man would take it. He hadn't said anything against extracurricular activities, but he hadn't been praising the idea either…_

_He unlocked the door, knowing Sammy had gotten out of school an hour earlier. He would be in his room, listening to music and working on his homework like the good kid he was. His dad would be in his office working. He slowly trudged through the house, throwing his coat and bag in his room. It was now or never. _

_He walked up to the door of his father's office. It was closed, but what did he expect? His father liked the privacy. He took a deep breath, suddenly uncertain. Then he shook his head, annoyed. He was Dean Winchester. When did he get nervous about anything? He smiled slightly. _

'Who gives themselves pep talks?' _He thought, knocking on his father's door before he lost his nerve. _

_''Come in.'' His father called. Dean swallowed and opened the door slowly. His old man was sitting in the chair in front of his desk, frowning at a pile of papers. He looked up, expression softening ever so slightly. Dean leaned against the doorway and looked down._

_''Well, I assume you didn't just come in here to say hello, Dean. What is it? Did something happen at school?'' John asked, tilting his head to the side. Dean looked up. _

_''Sort of, but it's not bad.'' He said, noticing the disbelief in John's eyes. He continued quickly, hoping the shock would be enough to convince his dad that he was being serious. ''I joined band.''_

_He'd been right about his old man being surprised. John's eyes widened, and he stared at Dean for a moment, mouth opening and closing like a fish. Then came the laughter. Dean frowned._

_''I'm serious, Dad! I joined the band at school today!'' The laughter grew louder._

_It really was true…_

Dean shook his head. It was better to not dwell on those things. Besides, he had something more important to focus on. It was time to meet Castiel and see what his deal was. Dean grinned and closed his laptop. He would not give up that spot without a fight.

_Well, let me know what you think of the story so far! By the way, this is my first attempt at writing a Destiel fic. How is that working out so far? Good? Bad? What was I thinking? Haha, hope you enjoyed! Please read and review and all that good stuff! Bye, bye! :) _


	2. Of Raindrops and Forgiven Sax Players

_I present to you another chapter filled with teenage angst and band drama! By the way, I do not know why I made Cas British. I really don't so please don't question it. He will be British and lovable! And thank you Cassandra Clare for such a wonderful insult! Anyway, enjoy the chapter! Oh, and the credit for _Supernatural_ goes to Eric Kripke and all those other spectacular people! (Again, hopefully you know who you are!)_

Grey clouds filled the skies, and rain hit the roof with what could've been described as a vengeance. Sixteen year old Cas glanced up at the ceiling, frowning. He usually didn't mind the rain, but he had practice with the marching band today, and he knew that nothing, not even a thunderstorm, would convince Mr. Timms that practice needed to be cancelled.

''He's like the postal service…'' Cas muttered, picking at his toast. '''Neither rain nor snow-'''

''Castiel! Stop mumbling and eat your breakfast!'' His mother snapped, pushing a strand of dark hair away from her face. ''The bus will be here any minute!''

Cas put the bit of bread he'd been rolling into a ball on the plate and shook his head. ''I'm not hungry, Mother.'' He replied softly, pushing his chair in. His mother narrowed her light grey eyes.

''Why not? You haven't had a bite to eat since last night!'' She said coldly, picking up his plate. Cas shrugged and went upstairs to collect his book bag, not at all in the mood to deal with his mother's mood swings. He wasn't in the mood for school either, but he couldn't ditch class if he wanted to stay in band.

So this was how Cas found himself on a bus full of disgruntled teenagers. He glanced around, physically restraining himself from shaking his head in disgust. Behavioral expectations were so different here. In this town, teenagers were free to eat fatty, processed foods in a vehicle; the majority of passengers were on their cellphones or tablets, checking the social media he had spent the night before obsessing over; a few were sleeping, curled up like cats on the uncomfortable seats, and there was even a couple making out…and maybe doing a bit more. Cas quickly looked away, feeling heat creep its way up his neck. There was no way in hell any of this would be allowed in his home in Great Britain. Back at his old prep school, teenagers had been expected to be prim and proper, stiff-faced and intelligent, polite and calm. There would be none of this casual conversation and flirting. No, there would be a place for everyone and guidelines to follow. Here, Cas was completely lost. He had no way of knowing how he was expected to behave. The only place he really felt comfortable was in band class, but lately he'd been experiencing disturbances in his beloved sanctuary.

One of the other saxophone players, Dean, he thought, had been giving him dirty looks every time their eyes met. Whenever they received sheet music, Dean would give Cas a look of contempt, as if he were sure Cas had no way of comprehending the music. What made all of this intolerable was that Cas had no idea what he had done. He had never said a word to Dean in casual conversation, nor had he made any attempts to offend him. The most he'd ever said was asking if Dean had a spare reed, which Dean had given him, no questions asked. Cas sighed and put his earphones in as they neared the next stop. To make matters worse, he and Dean rode the same bus. He understood that they were both sixteen and could drive, but he and his mother didn't have the money for a car just yet. He didn't understand why Dean never drove that beautiful '67 Chevy Impala. Cas allowed himself the smallest of smiles. He could just picture Dean pulling up to his house in that gorgeous baby, hair sticking up every which way from the wind, those lovely green eyes wide from excitement and exhilaration…

He blinked and shook his head quickly, turning his music up, determined to drown out such thoughts with Consider Me Dead and Blood On The Dance Floor. He shouldn't be having those thoughts about men, and especially not about Dean Winchester of all people!

Yet…

He had spent his two weeks here admiring Dean from afar. He just couldn't help it. Dean was so charming, and Cas had always had a weak spot for brunettes…He bit his lip, shaking his head again. It didn't matter if he was attracted to men or if he had developed a bit of a crush on Dean. There was no chance of anything ever happening between the two, even if Cas did admit his feelings. Dean was so painfully straight, Cas wanted to cry at times. He closed his eyes and moved as close to the window as he could. He didn't want to think about Dean anymore. Besides, he didn't want to touch whoever sat down next to him and risk insulting them. Cas always made a point to sit in the very back of the bus, but the damned thing was always so crowded, it was impossible to get a seat to himself. And it appeared that today was just not going to be his day.

He felt the familiar jolt as someone plopped down next to him and focused on the music, hoping that whoever it was would accept that he was not in the mood for idle chitchat. Sadly, they did not.

Cas' eyes flew open when someone yanked one of the earbuds out of his ear, and he turned, ready to tell the person that they had no place touching his possessions, when he froze.

Dean Winchester was sitting next to him, grinning like a psychopath. He tossed the earbud in Cas' lap and tilted his head to the side, grin sliding off his face like the rain sliding down the window.

''Hello, _Cas_.'' He greeted mockingly. ''I've decided it's time we had a little chat.''

''Is that so?'' Cas asked stiffly, pausing his music. He wasn't ready to deal with many things that morning, and Dean's bullshit was at the top of that list.

''Yeah. You see, I am not ready to accept that we got the same fucking chair in the Honor Band, so if you would kindly remove your metaphorical ass from _my _currently metaphorical seat, I'd really appreciate it.''

Cas had had enough. He'd been bullied for having an accent, for having manners, for respecting teachers and turning in his assignments, and for not knowing the social etiquette of Americans, but he was not going to sit here and be reprimanded for working hard and earning something.

''You know what, Dean?'' He snapped, angry red blotches appearing on his cheeks. ''I am sick and tired of you treating me like rubbish because I earned something! It is not my fault we appear to have the same level of talent, and it is not my fault the judges decided we were equal! I have to deal with so much other bullshit from you American idiots because I come from a different country! I am not about to add your petty pride to my list of problems! If you have an issue with the seating arrangement, go speak to Mr. Timms, because I am not giving that chair up unless he tells me to! Now leave me alone!''

Dean stared at him, mouth agape, and Cas felt a sick sense of satisfaction. He would bet all his life savings that no one had ever told Dean Winchester to fuck off. He turned away and put his earbud back in, turning the music up to the highest volume. He may have been heading off to a day of torment and harassment, but he felt a tiny sense of pride knowing he'd put that surprised look on Dean's face.

Dean stormed down the halls, ignoring the dirty looks he got as he bumped into people. This morning had not gone as planned. Cas was supposed to look ashamed and hand over the chair, not rip his ass! The damn kid always looked so shy and willing…Dean had never imagined he would put up a fight.

He stopped at his locker, worrying at his bottom lip. Maybe he hadn't handled that situation so well…His temper and pride had gotten him in trouble before, and today hadn't been any different. He put his combination in slowly, worried that he'd caused more damage than he'd meant to. He hadn't known that Cas was getting bullied. He always looked so peaceful and calm, but maybe that had all been a façade. He hadn't really said much until Dean had acted like an ass. Sure, he really wanted to keep his chair, but he didn't want to be the cause of Cas doing something drastic…He opened his locker and grabbed his biology textbook. He would apologize in band and explain why he had acted like that. He wasn't about to go groveling for forgiveness, but he didn't want Cas to think he hated him. Maybe they could be friends. Or more…Cas did have those cute blue eyes, after all…Dean bit his lip hard enough to draw blood, dropping his textbook as he did so. Wincing at the pain in his lip and toe, he mentally scolded himself. He should not be having those thoughts about guys, especially Cas…He was into chicks. He'd gotten caught in the janitor's closet enough times to know this was a fact. He would never _ever _do a guy. Ever. He frowned, wincing as the torn skin on his lip stretched. Would he ever do a guy? Now that he was thinking about it, he realized there was a slight possibility that he might, and if the guy were as cute as Cas was…the bell signifying he had two minutes to get to class rang, and he cursed. He had to keep his grades up if he wanted to stay in band and that meant no distractions, especially, cute, blue-eyed distractions…

Cas sat in his seat in band, placing his case next to the black chair. He was glad band was his last class of the day. He wouldn't have to deal with Dean for more than forty-five minutes, and then he could go home and drown himself in pie and Netflix. He may have come from a different country, but Netflix and pie were international. However, while the bell rang and students removed their instruments from their cases, Mr. Timms walked to the center of the room, looking as if he'd just seen death itself.

''Students, I know you were all looking forward to today's marching practice as much as I was, but I am afraid the rain has won this battle. I wouldn't dare send all of you out in newly cleaned and starched uniforms while you carried newly polished and tuned instruments! That is pure insanity! So today we will work on our individual pieces for the showcase next weekend. I wish you all the best of luck!'' He smiled warmly and made his way to his office, shutting the door.

Cas let out a breath he'd been holding. He had forgotten that there was marching practice after school that day _and _he'd forgotten to tell his mother about said practice. Knowing that the practice had been cancelled and he could go straight home after school felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. If practice hadn't been cancelled, he would've had to march alongside Dean, and he didn't think he could handle that. Speaking of Dean…

''Hey, Cas?''

The greeting was hesitant, almost nervous. Strange. Cas turned his head slightly to look at Dean as he sucked on the reed. ''Hm?'' He questioned, eyes wary.

''I…I wanted to apologize for earlier.'' This was a surprise. The shock must've shown on Cas' face because Dean continued, sounding more confident. ''I didn't mean to come across as the world's biggest asshat. I guess I wasn't eager to be overshadowed by someone else.'' He looked down and murmured. ''I had finally earned something that was completely mine, and then another sax player showed up. But!'' He said quickly, nervous again. ''That's not a bad thing. I was just being a jealous asshole and I wanted to say I was sorry.''

Cas blinked. Dean was…apologizing? He looked down, unsure. On the one hand, Dean had been as bad as the other kids lately. On the other hand, he _did _look remorseful. Those lovely green eyes were full of nervousness and regret…He sighed. It didn't matter what Dean had done. He wouldn't be able to stay mad at him.

''It's fine, Dean. No harm done.'' Actually, quite a bit of harm had been done, but now wasn't the time or place. ''I shouldn't have snapped at you earlier. I was just cross. I apologize'' He turned his attention to his music, placing the mouthpiece to his lips. That was a satisfactory apology, right? They'd made amends and now Cas could focus on his piece for the showcase. But it seemed Dean wasn't finished just yet.

''Cas?'' Cas stopped playing and looked at Dean, still in playing position. Dean looked down for a moment before looking back up, beautiful green eyes full of hope.

''Could we, you know, try to be friends? I know we've had a rocky start, but I wanna make up for it, and I do want to be your friend.''

Cas thought this over. He supposed he could live with being friends with Dean Winchester, even if it would be a timid friendship at best, and he wished that they could become more than friends.

''Yes. All right.''

_Awww! The beginnings of young love! I really am proud of this chapter. I haven't been into writing a fic for so long! It's a great feeling! Also, is it odd that I was listening to anime soundtracks while typing this? I don't think so, but you never know! Anyway, tell me your thoughts about the story so far. I'm having fun writing it, but I want to know if I'm being silly, ya know? Anyhow, see you when I see you, which will hopefully be soon since I have someone to make sure I update more often now! Bye, bye!_


	3. Memories

_Thank you to everyone who has followed or add this story to their favorites! I really appreciate it, and it makes me happy that people are enjoying the story and not killing me for putting Cas and Dean in band. Hahahaha. Anyway, enjoy!_

Dean smiled widely. ''Awesome!'' Cas nodded, slightly intimidated by this display of American excitement. Dean smiled at him for a moment longer before turning his attention to his sheet music, placing the mouthpiece to his lips. Cas relaxed. Though he was glad that he and Dean had made amends, the customs of American teenagers still wore him out, and today had been a long day. He chanced another glance at Dean, putting his own mouthpiece to his lips. Dean looked more relaxed than he had at the beginning of class. Had he really felt that guilty about their quarrel this morning? Cas shook his head slowly and began playing his own piece. No matter how much he daydreamed or prayed, Dean would love women, and there was nothing Cas could do to change that.

Cas paced around his bedroom, worrying at his bottom lip nervously. Tonight was the night of the showcase, and he was almost positive something was going to go wrong. No, he was certain that something would happen. His tormenters had left him alone and rather than feeling relieved, Cas felt nothing but suspicion. What if they had learned he was to play in the showcase? Was he about to be humiliated like that girl from that movie _Carrie _had? He sighed. Maybe he was wrong. The last week had been nothing but good, so why should things change now?

_'Because you are unlucky when it comes to other people, Cas. You don't know how to behave around these Americans. Everything you do is wrong…'' _He thought, glancing in the mirror. His dark hair was sticking up in wild tufts from where he'd run his fingers through it, and his face was a sickly pale color. He stood, frowning. He appeared as if he were on his way to a funeral home and not to a high school band showcase. That wouldn't do. He took a deep breath, closing his eyes. No matter what his tormenters had planned for him, he would be ready to face it. The time for hiding and accepting his fate as a doormat was over. Tonight he would show everyone that he was so much more than the odd foreigner. He opened his eyes and studied his determined expression.

He would show them he could become one of them…

Dean grabbed his sax case and glanced in the mirror. He looked so badass in his new leather jacket…He smiled happily. Things had been going great lately. His old man had finally accepted that instead of playing sports, his oldest son would rather play an instrument, and this took a great deal of stress off of Dean's shoulders. His grades were improving, and he and Cas were getting along. He stiffened, thinking about the few times he and Cas had hung out together outside of school.

_It was finally Friday, and Dean couldn't be happier. His classes had been stressful as hell lately, and he couldn't wait to get home and binge-watch Netflix. To top off this wonderful day, he'd actually gotten away with having no homework over the weekend. He smiled. Now all he had to do was get through band and he could go home. _

_He sat in his seat and grabbed his sax, ready to work on his piece for the showcase. It was a battle theme from _Lord of the Rings_, and he was happy that he'd be able to play it in front of an audience. He glanced over as Cas sat down next to him and moved his sax away from his lips, about to greet Cas like he'd been doing for the past couple of days. Then he noticed the look on Cas' face._

_Cas was looking down at the floor, ignoring the case sitting next to his chair. His blue eyes were expressionless as was his pale face. Dean set his sax aside and tilted his head._

_''Cas? You okay?'' He questioned, doing his best to sound casual. He didn't want Cas to think that he was prying. _

_''I am fine, Dean. Thank you. And yourself?'' Cas replied, looking up. Dean frowned. He could practically feel the effort it was taking Cas to sound cheerful._

_''Cas, please don't lie. What's going on?'' _

_''I've already told you, Dean, I'm fine.'' Cas replied, a hint of annoyance entering his otherwise flat tone. He opened his case and took out his sax, placing the mouthpiece to his lips. Knowing a dismissal when he saw one, Dean sighed and went back to practicing. The clear dismissal didn't stop Dean from glancing over at Cas every so often, however. He looked more alert, but he still seemed detached. The green-eyed boy smiled; he would get to the bottom of this. He had been determined to protect Cas ever since he'd learned that the kid was getting bullied, and he wasn't going to stand by and let Cas suffer._

_''Hey, Cas?'' He questioned, lowering his sax. Cas looked over and raised an eyebrow. Realizing that was the only response he was going to get, Dean continued. ''Are you doing anything tonight? We could hang out at my place and binge-watch Netflix with pie and Mountain Dew.'' He looked down, hoping Cas wouldn't snap at him again. _

_''Um…'' Cas mumbled, looking away quickly as a faint blush spread across his cheeks. It was Dean's turn to raise an eyebrow. Cas was blushing? He began to panic. Why was Cas blushing? He turned his eyes to his sheet music, getting in position. ''It's okay if you don't want to. I just thought you might want to relax a bit.''_

_''No, I do. Please.'' Cas' face turned a bright crimson, and he stared down at the floor intently, as if praying it would open up and swallow him. Clutching his sax tightly, he mumbled. ''I really appreciate the offer, and I would very much like to hang out with you after school.''_

_Dean smiled, forgetting the moment of awkwardness. ''Awesome!'' Cas nodded mutely and began to play. Dean watched him for a moment more before working on his own piece. _

That had been a week ago. He and Cas had had a Sherlock marathon and had managed to get through all three seasons. Cas had left with a small smile on his face and a flicker of light in his blue eyes. Dean had watched him leave with an aching feeling his chest and a frown. It was becoming harder and harder to deny what his heart, mind, and body wanted. Dean groaned. He wanted Cas so, so badly, but every day Cas seemed to push him further and further away. Dean didn't understand. He had thought he and Cas were getting along great, especially after that afternoon in the local burger joint.

_''You've never had a bacon cheeseburger?'' Dean exclaimed, staring at Cas in horror as the other boy shook his head slowly._

_''No, and please lower your voice. There is no need to panic, Dean.'' Cas replied quietly. Dean continued to stare at Cas, openmouthed. No wonder the guy was so…so _calm! _He would take it upon himself to enlighten Cas on the joy of bacon cheeseburgers!_

_''Dude, you have no idea.'' He said, turning his attention to the cashier. She was cute in that little sister way, with her messy bun and smeared mascara, but Dean would never go out with her. He was starting to get the feeling that Cas wouldn't either. ''Two bacon cheeseburgers, please. Oh, and two large Pepsis as well. Thanks, Jenny!'' He smiled and slipped her a five. She smiled brightly at the tip and nodded._

_''It will be right out, sir! And thank you!'' She replied brightly, slipping the bill into her pocket as she gave their order to the cooks. _

_Dean led Cas to a table and sat down, watching as Cas gingerly sat down. He covered his mouth with one hand, suppressing laughter. Cas looked over and pouted, big, blue eyes widening. Dean froze. Was Cas giving him the puppy dog look? _

_''C-Cas, I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings. I didn't mean to.'' But Cas was giggling, his eyes now lit up with amusement rather than hurt. _

_''I've never seen anyone give in to puppy dog eyes so quickly!'' He said in between giggles. _

_Dean's jaw dropped. Had Cas done that to him on purpose? What the actual fuck?! But before he had the chance to question it, their food arrived along with Jenny's phone number, which Dean quickly crumpled up and threw away. His heart had other ideas._

With a sigh, he tightened his grip on his case and left his room, heading towards the Impala. He didn't have time to question Cas' actions. The showcase began in less than an hour, and he was one of the first performers.

_All I've really got to say is that I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! Oh, and I have employed a system. I am going to be updating all my stories every Friday/Saturday. My kicker (and beta) approves! Anyhow, see you next time! Bye, bye!_


	4. Heat of the Moment?

_I employ a new system and what happens?! It snows and knocks out my internet! Why?! *sighs* I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, even though it's a day late…I'm sorry…_

Cas was leaning against the wall in a stall, breathing shallowly. He was in the boy's restroom at school, and he was quite sure he was about to vomit. He was going to perform in the next half hour or so, and he was not prepared. At all. He was certain something was about to go wrong, something that his tormentors would have nothing to do with. His reed would break during his performance, or he would get sick in front of the audience. He sighed, face pale against the light blue of the stall wall. It didn't matter what happened. He was about to, as the Americans would say, fuck up royally, and there wasn't a single thing he could do about it.

The thought alone was enough to send him on his knees as the contents of his stomach came up. Groaning, he rested his head on the toilet seat, clutching his stomach. This had to be one of the stupidest ideas he'd ever had.

_'Oh, why did I have to join this stupid band class?' _He thought faintly. Pride. That was the simple, depressing answer. He had to wanted to show these Americans that he could do something right, and if that meant playing his precious saxophone in a high school band, he was all too prepared for the task.

He heard the slight creak of the bathroom door opening and hurried to flush the toilet. However, it seemed that his stomach had other ideas, as he once again found himself on his knees, emptying the contents of his stomach.

''Hey, you okay?'' An all too familiar voice asked worriedly. Cas moaned. Of all the people who had to have the misfortune of finding him like this, why did it have to be _Dean_? There was no point in being rude and ignoring Dean's concern, though. Dean would figure it out soon enough.

''N-no.'' He mumbled, closing his eyes.

''_Cas_?'' Dean's surprise was evident. Cas raised his head slightly, opening his eyes, as Dean quickly walked over to the stall door. ''Cas, what's going on?''

Cas flushed the toilet and stood up on shaky legs. Did he dare confide in Dean? He was aware they were friends, but he had been told by many classmates that Dean's sweet, green-eyed gaze was misleading, that he tossed people aside once he had slept with them. Well, that wouldn't be a problem here, now would it? Dean was as straight as could be, and nothing, not even Cas' self-induced illness, would change that.

''It is just nerves. There's no need for you to worry, Dean.'' Cas mumbled as he opened the stall door. He ignored Dean's concerned expression as he walked over to the sink to rinse his mouth out. There was no way he was going to play his prized instrument with a filthy mouth.

''C'mon, Cas. We both know that's bullshit.'' Dean said softly, walking forward slowly. Cas looked down, trembling slightly. Was he really that easy to read?

''So what if it is?'' He whispered. ''It doesn't really matter.'' He turned quickly and hurriedly rinsed out his mouth, determined to fit at least five minutes of practice in before the big performance.

Dean looked down at the grey tile, frowning. Cas wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, hoping he hadn't offended Dean. That hadn't been his intention. He came from a life of class and sophistication. Trivial feelings such as nervousness and terror were mere roadblocks in the grand scheme of things. He also wasn't used to the concept of friendship.

''Cas?'' The blue-eyed boy looked up at the sound of his name, confused. Dean didn't sound angry or upset. In fact, there was nothing but concern in his voice.

''Yes?'' He replied, noticing that the distance between the two of them had grown significantly smaller.

''I didn't mean to upset you or make you feel like you had to hide things from me. You know you can tell me anything, right?'' Cas blinked. Why was Dean apologizing?

''Dean, please do not apologize. If anything, it is my fault. I am not used to having friends or anyone showing concern for my well-being, so I didn't handle the situation as well as I should have.'' Cas said quietly. Dean walked forward slowly, and Cas blushed, realizing that there was less than a few inches of space between them.

''So what? It doesn't matter anymore. Let's start over, no secrets. How does that sound?'' Dean murmured, kissing Cas' cheek. Color flooded Cas' cheeks and he looked down, nodding. Dean laughed softly and pulled Cas close. Cas buried his face in Dean's white dress shirt, trembling. The green-eyed boy rubbed his back gently, murmuring words of comfort. It took a few minutes before Cas really began to register what Dean had said.

''Wait…what do you mean by ''start over'', Dean?'' Cas asked, looking up. Dean squirmed slightly under the steady gaze and took Cas' hands in his.

''Look, there's no point in denying it, and I am really getting sick of telling myself no. I like you, Cas. You even keep me up at night…'' He looked down, blushing slightly. ''I'm not as good at words as I'd like to be, but I was hoping you liked me to…''

Cas' face turned a bright shade of red as he looked up at Dean, mouth hanging open. Had Dean really said that?

_'Am I dreaming?' _He thought. It didn't matter, he realized. As long as Dean was reciprocating his feelings, it didn't matter if he was awake or not.

Realizing Dean was waiting for an answer and would probably take his silence as a sign of rejection, he nodded and smiled shyly. Dean's eyes lit up. He pulled Cas close again and pressed a kiss to his forehead. Cas rested his head on Dean's chest, closing his eyes. He was still terrified, but in that moment he felt as if everything would be all right.

Dean pulled away slowly, almost reluctantly. Cas, still not quite willing to believe he was awake, immediately let his arms drop to his sides.

''We should probably go get ready. The showcase is going to start in a sec.'' Dean mumbled, quickly walking away. Cas stood there for a minute, wondering if what had just happened had been a heat of the moment thing. It made sense. He had been upset and Dean, being his friend, felt a need to comfort him. It hadn't had anything to do with a possible romance. Cas shook his head sadly. He was a naïve fool. Why would Dean Winchester, one of the most popular people at school, choose an odd foreigner like him? He left the restroom, staring at the carpeted floor. Dean was right; the showcase was about to begin, and, whether he was ready or not, it was time to face the consequences of his actions.

Dean lightly touched the side of his case, worrying at his lower lip. He was more than ready for the showcase; he loved performing in front of people. However, he wasn't sure if Cas was ready for the challenge. But that didn't make any sense. Cas had been practicing for weeks, and Dean knew for a fact that he had one of the best pieces in the whole class. He was also ninety-nine percent sure that he would get a lot of positive feedback from the audience. So why was he so damn nervous?

The door slowly opened and Dean looked up, watching worriedly as Cas walked in. There was no nice way to put it. Cas looked like shit. He was a sickish white color and his blue eyes, usually so calm, were darting around nervously, as if he expected enemies around every corner. Dean frowned and narrowed his eyes as Cas sat next to him.

''Cas, what the hell is going on with you?'' He asked, none too kindly. Cas looked over, expression guarded.

''Dean, it is a simple case of nerves. Now please stop asking me about it.''

Dean took a deep breath, doing his best to prevent himself from saying something he would regret. Cas removed his sax from the case and started playing random notes. Dean, pouting, looked away, knowing full well Cas wouldn't tell him anything unless he was on his deathbed. With a sigh, he began warming up himself, knowing he had less than five minutes before he went on.

Mr. Timms walked in thirty seconds later, though Dean knew it had been more like two minutes, and walked over to Dean, looking prideful as always.

''Hello, Mr. Winchester. Are you ready to perform?'' He asked warmly. Dean held back the smirk he knew Mr. Timms was looking for and nodded, doing his best to appear impassive to the whole situation.

''Yes, sir.'' He replied, standing up, holding his sax carefully. Mr. Timms beamed and turned to Cas.

''Mr. Novak, you will be performing last. I want this showcase to begin on a strong foot and end just as powerfully.'' Cas nodded and went back to his warm ups. Mr. Timms pursed his lips, then looked up at Dean and gestured for him to lead the way. Dean adjusted his grip on his sax and left the band room, walking down the hallway. He would give the audience quite the show, and he knew Cas would leave them screaming and cheering.

He stood just out of sight, waiting for Mr. Timms to introduce him. The man's speech was taking a lifetime.

''Hello, ladies and gentleman. I want to personally thank you for taking the time out of your busy schedules to come see our little showcase. I would like you to know that these children are the best of the best and have worked hard to bring you the music that you will hear today. I hope with all my heart that you enjoy and leave with a certain feeling of…inspiration, appreciation, and a heartfelt urge to hear more! Now!'' He rubbed his hands together, and Dean was forcibly reminded of the villains from the cartoons of old. ''I would like to present our first talented artist: Dean Winchester!''

Dean walked out slowly and sat in the chair, watching the eyes of the audience follow Mr. Timms as he left the stage. They quickly focused on him, expectant. He took a deep breath and placed the mouthpiece to his lips. There was no reason to be nervous. Soon the sounds of a battle theme that would remind any respectable _LOTR _fan of the beginnings of battles and battles fought far away from the Shire filled the auditorium. The audience was captivated, watching with such intensity that Dean was sure their gazes would burn holes into his body. He finished his piece, the last notes echoing through the room, creating a sense of nostalgia. He lowered his sax and smiled, green eyes bright with excitement. He knew he was good; the applause coming from the cheering audience was more than enough to prove it. He stood and bowed, filling the slightest bit arrogant as he did so. He shook it off. As long as the audience was happy, nothing else mattered. He straightened up and smiled once more before hurrying backstage.

The next hour was filled with various songs from various band members. Dean watched as a tuba player performed a piece from _How to Train Your Dragon _and smiled slightly when a flute player performed ''Immortals'' by Fall Out Boy. He leaned against the wall, getting comfortable. Though he appreciated the free entertainment and was glad that everyone had chosen a good song, he knew he was waiting for one person in particular to perform.

Cas walked onto the stage nervously, clutching his sax tightly. Dean noted that Cas was still pale, but his blue eyes were filled with a pride that Dean hadn't seen before. Cas sat down and put the mouthpiece to his lips, making eye contact with the audience. That was something Dean hadn't expected. He watched intently, curious, as Cas closed his eyes and began to play. He stumbled backwards, hand over his mouth when he recognized the tune.

_'Elvis…' _He thought, covering his hand with his mouth. He didn't understand why, but Elvis always hit him hard. He loved anything and everything that had come from Elvis' lips with a passion.

And it was obvious that the audience was into it as well. As the sounds of ''I can't help falling in love with you'' floated through the auditorium, the audience slowly stood, swaying along with Cas. Dean stood backstage, awestruck. He would never have thought the shy, blue-eyed boy capable of such a feat.

Cas felt his body sway along with the music, felt his fingers move deftly as he played. He knew the audience had joined him. He could fill their energy surround him like a warm cloud. He continued to play, feeling more empowered than he had felt in weeks. It wasn't the audience's silent praise or the prideful look in Mr. Timm's eyes. No, it was the feeling, the sensation, that he had managed to convey how much that song meant to him. He had shown the audience how this song made him feel, had filled the large space that they were in with those feelings. That was why he felt like he was on cloud nine. Not many people could perform such a personal feet, and he was ecstatic that he had shared this deep and powerful thing with the people in the audience. He opened his eyes, blue eyes wide and animated. It was time for the finale.

_Yay! The showcase finally happened! Oh, and their little moment in the bathroom…Again, I want to apologize for not updating earlier. The snow doesn't like me…And you can't tell me I'm the only one who gets that weird shivery nostalgic feeling when I listen to _LOTR _music! Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed! Bye, bye!_


	5. A Subtle Song

_Hello, all. I'm updating on time this time around so no death by brick please. Yet. Anyway, I hope you enjoy Cas' little surprise! Oh, and I do not own anything sung by the Black Veil Brides. I don't own_ Supernatural _either. I also want to thank my beta for reading and checking my chapters for me. I can't remember if I've said this yet, and if I haven't, I'm sorry! You know I love you…_

Cas stood, and the audience fell silent, obviously expecting a bow. The blue-eyed boy smiled. They were about to receive quite the surprise if they thought that had been the end of his performance. He lowered his saxophone and smiled.

''I do wish to thank you for coming to see me and my fellow band members perform. Mr. Timms worked rather hard on preparing for this night so do please clap for him as well. However, I'm not quite finished just yet.''

The audience members shifted and murmured amongst themselves while Cas handed his beloved saxophone off to Mr. Timms, who had walked onstage once he'd heard the beginning of Cas' little speech, and nervously licked his lips. Though he had been planning this moment since he'd learned he'd be in the showcase, he was still wary of the expectant eyes of the audience. But it was now or never.

''I'd like to sing a song as the showcase comes to a close.'' Cas continued, surprised by how utterly calm he felt. This had truly been one of the best nights of his life and, for better or worse, it was coming to a close.

The audience sat down, hands in laps and gazes eager. Cas accepted the microphone that Mr. Timms handed him and smiled nervously at the band teacher as the older man left the stage. Cas turned his attention back to the audience and took a deep breath. Then he began to sing:

''I cannot hide what's on my mind

I feel it burning deep inside

A passion crime to take what's mine

Let us start living for today

Never gonna change my mind

We can leave it all behind

Nothing's gonna stop us

No, not this time

So take your hand in mine

It's ours tonight

This is a rebel love song

Hearts will sacrifice

It's do or die

This is a rebel love''

Dean stared at Cas, unable to comprehend the situation. He had mentioned to Cas that he enjoyed listening to the Black Veil Brides once. Once. Tonight he had confessed his feelings to Cas. This couldn't be a coincidence.

Onstage, Cas continued to sing:

''My outlaw eyes have seen their lies

I choke on all they had to say

When worlds collide what's left inside

I hold on tight and hear you pray

Never gonna change my mind

We can leave it all behind

Nothing's gonna stop us

No, not this time

So take your hand in mine

It's ours tonight

This is a rebel love song

Hearts will sacrifice

It's do or die

This is a rebel love song.''

Cas' gravelly voice had always been able to seduce Dean, he was more than ready to admit that. But it had the perfect lilt when the blue-eyed boy was singing, and, for the first time in his life, Dean had been reduced to a puddle.

''Wild and running for one reason

They can't stop us from our freedom

(Wild and running for one reason

They can't stop us from our freedom)

Never gonna change my mind

We can leave it all behind

Nothing's going to stop us

No, not this time

So take your hand in mine

It's ours tonight

This is a rebel love song

Hearts will sacrifice

It's do or die

This is a rebel love song.''

Dean watched, completely and utterly in awe as the audience joined in for the end, fists raised, Cas in the lead.

''So take your hand in mine

It's ours tonight

This is a rebel love song

Hearts will sacrifice

It's do or die

This is a rebel love song!''

Cas took a moment to revel in the applause before he bowed, smiling.

''Again, I thank you for taking the time out of your busy schedules to come view this little showcase. And I do hope my little song wasn't too rebellious for your uptight sensibilities. Farewell!'' He was accompanied off the stage by chuckles and raucous applause, Dean's being the loudest of all.

Cas hurried off the stage and leaned against the wall, panting slightly. He hadn't expected to get such a rush from singing, though he never normally sang something that exciting. He heard footsteps running towards him and looked up nervously, fully expecting Mr. Timms to reprimand him for his surprise performance. However, there would be no punishments tonight.

When he looked up, his wary blue eyes met joyful green ones. He straightened up quickly and smiled politely at Dean.

''Hello, Dean. I enjoyed-'' He never got any further than that, though. Dean had pulled Cas against his chest and was kissing him roughly. Cas melted into the kiss, closing his eyes with a moan. Tonight was a night for celebration, indeed.

_What a lovely ending to the showcase, eh? And who else loves Black Veil Brides?! Anyway, hope you enjoyed! Bye, bye!_


	6. Swings and Ice Cream

_Hey, guys. I decided to update early since Christmas is coming up and I'll be busy messing around with my new shit. (Yes…I am that person…) Anyway, this chapter is just meant to be a bit of fluff so I hope you enjoy! As always, thank you to my beta! (And I'm sure you know by now I don't own _SPN_….)_

Dean walked up the small path that led to Cas' house. Today was the day of their official first date and he couldn't be more excited. Cas' had grown less distant since the night of the showcase and was even smiling more often. He adjusted his grip on the bouquet of lilies and knocked on the door. Cas' mother answered.

''Can I help you?'' She questioned, crossing her arms across her chest.

''Uh, yeah. I'm here to see Castiel.'' He replied, doing his best to sound polite. Cas' mother studied him for a moment, frowning slightly. He fidgeted under her cool gaze and smiled nervously.

''Is that so?'' She asked as she narrowed her light grey eyes. Dean nodded and shifted so the flowers were hidden. She sighed and turned towards a winding staircase. ''Castiel! You have a visitor!''

Cas walked down the stairs slowly as he zipped up his hoodie. He stopped at the foot of the stairs and met his mother's cold gaze with one of his own.

''I'll be back before nightfall, mother.'' He murmured as he walked towards the door. His mother nodded curtly. Cas moved past her and shut the door, posture tense. Dean gently tapped his shoulder. Cas jumped a foot in the air and turned to look at him. Dean held up his arms in a placating gesture.

''Relax, babe. It's just me.'' He smiled and held out the flowers.

Cas' cheeks flushed with color as he took the lilies. ''Did you just refer to me as 'babe', Dean?''

Dean nodded bashfully. ''Yeah. I won't if it bugs you.'' He muttered, looking down.

''No, no!'' Cas waved his arm frantically. ''It is nice.'' Dean grinned and took Cas' hand, lacing their fingers together.

''Well then. Let's go.''

Cas intently studied his sneakers as he sat on the park bench. Dean sat next to him, arm wrapped around his shoulder, perfectly content to sit there until the end of time. Cas had asked Dean not to take him anywhere fancy or cliché so Dean had offered ice cream in the park. The blue-eyed boy had agreed with a smile.

Dean licked his strawberry ice cream and glanced at the other boy. Cas was licking the chocolate ice cream contemplatively, brow furrowed. Dean frowned and squeezed his shoulder.

''Babe?'' Cas blinked and looked over.

''Yes?''

''Are you all right?''

Cas nodded, a small smile gracing his features. ''Yes. I am fine. I am just a little distracted today.'' Dean smiled gently.

''Well, how about we go on the swings after we finish our ice cream?''

Cas tilted his head to the side. ''Aren't swings meant for children?''

Dean laughed. ''Yes, but teens who actually wanna enjoy life can use them too.''

''Let us go on the swings then!'' Cas replied, grinning. Dean chuckled and began licking the ice cream in earnest. Today would be an enjoyable day.

''Higher!'' Cas cried in excitement. Dean laughed and gave his love another push. He hadn't expected Cas to enjoy the swings so much. He loved the blue-eyed boy, but he had thought he was more uptight. This was a pleasant surprise. He gave Cas another push. It was also nice to see him smiling, especially after the tension with his mother. He shook his head. Now wasn't the time to think about that. Cas giggled and turned to look at Dean.

''Hey, Dean?''

''Yeah?'' Dean questioned, giving Cas another push.

''Would you like to be roommates when we go to the competition?'' Cas asked shyly. Dean helped him stop the swing and pulled Cas into his arms.

''Hell yeah!''

Life couldn't possibly get any better.

_Again, this was just meant to be a bit of fluff. There will be more action in the next chapter. Hope you enjoyed! Bye, bye!_


	7. A Possible Coward

_Hi…I know the chapter is late and I'm sorry, but I was having wifi problems. So this is the competition chapter, but there's also more going on than competition stress. I warn you to prepare your bricks and other assorted weapons because some of you seriously might want to kill me after this. Thank you to Eric Kripke and everyone else involved with _Supernatural. _I also want to thank my wonderful beta! By the way, I haven't been to a band competition since sixth or seventh grade so this is loosely based off of the theatre competition I went to last year. So for all you band kids, I'm sorry. I tried. _

Cas closed his eyes and did his best to shut his mother's ranting out. She had been on a tirade since he'd told her he would be going to competition. He honestly didn't see the problem. His mother had known there'd be a chance that he would go.

"After all I've done for you, after all my sacrifices, you run off and do something like this! Honestly, Castiel, have you no self-respect? You are a talent and need to play in sophisticated areas, not a ridiculous high school mashup of sluts and idiots who have nothing better to do with their time than attempt to impress crackhead judges!"

Cas sighed, wondering if his mother intended to restate her point for the rest of the afternoon. That was all she was really complaining about, though if she knew about Dean, she might have had something else to reprimand him about.

A slow, lazy smile spread across his face as he thought about Dean and his green eyes. Those green eyes had been full of excitement when he'd asked Dean if he would like to be roommates. Cas didn't understand, but he was happy all the same. Maybe Dean would have an idea as to how he could handle his mother.

He sat up and grabbed his cellphone, quickly scrolling through his list of contacts to Dean's name. He hit 'call' and worried at his lower lip as he waited for Dean to pick up.

_'Maybe this wasn't the best idea…I shouldn't bother Dean with my problems.' _ He thought and pulled the phone away from his ear so he could hang up.

"Hello?" Cas nearly dropped his phone as he hurried to put it back up to his ear.

"H-Hi, Dean. I…" Cas fell silent, blushing fiercely.

"Hey, Cas. What's up?" Dean replied, laughing softly. Cas groaned and contemplated the idea of hanging up. But he had already greeted Dean and it would be rude to end the call now.

"I, um…Never mind. It is silly and doesn't matter." He mumbled.

"Cas, what's wrong?" Dean asked softly, making it clear that he wouldn't except "I'm fine" as a reply.

"It's…" He began, playing with a loose thread on his shirt. "It's my mum," He sighed. "She is not pleased that I am going to competition."

"Why not?" Dean questioned.

"She has made it clear that I should play in a concert hall where the audience would better appreciate my talents."

"You're still going, right? You aren't going to let her stop you, are you?" Dean sounded nervous. Cas raised an eyebrow. He didn't understand why Dean would sound nervous about such a trivial topic.

"Of course not. I just need to come up with a new plan, that's all." Cas replied, relaxing slightly. Even if Dean couldn't help him with his family problems, he was still helping Cas clear his mind. And Cas didn't expect Dean to help him with such a silly problem anyway. It wasn't his place to expect things of Dean.

"What do you mean, make a new plan?" Dean asked.

Cas shifted uncomfortably, even though he knew Dean couldn't see him. "Well, my mother certainly won't be giving me a ride to school that morning. I will just walk. It should not take too long."

"Cas, that's stupid!" Dean exclaimed. "You don't live close enough to the school! You'll have to wake up at the asscrack of dawn to get to the school on time!"

"If that is what I have to do, then I will do it." Cas replied, doing his best to ignore the little flutter in his chest when he realized that Dean was worried about him.

"No, you won't! My old man can pick you up."

Cas flushed and bit back a retort. He appreciated Dean's offer, he really did, but he didn't feel comfortable using Dean like that.

"Dean, it is a kind offer, but I could not possibly do that to a friend, let alone my boyfriend!" He replied, closing his eyes.

"Boyfriend?" Dean questioned innocently. Cas could just picture his expression.

"Um, well, yes?" Cas mumbled, blushing fiercely.

"Well, if that's the case, then it's my duty to make sure you have a ride then, isn't it? You are my boyfriend, after all." Dean replied smugly. Cas sighed. There wasn't any point in arguing with Dean.

"All right. If you insist. Thank you, Dean." Cas sighed, sitting up. "I should probably go comfort my mother. I will see you at school tomorrow."

"Okay, see ya later, babe!" Dean replied cheerfully before hanging up. Cas placed his phone on his bed and stood slowly. He wasn't at all eager to speak with his mother.

Dean tapped his foot, chewing on the inside of his cheek, as he knocked on Cas' door again. He had knocked three times now and no one had come to the door. He pulled out his phone and sighed. He had no new texts. He'd tried texting Cas as well, but nothing seemed to be working. He shoved his phone back into his pocket and turned to look at his father.

John raised an eyebrow. "You sure he's home?"

"Yes!" Dean replied annoyed. His old man hadn't been against giving Cas a ride, but he had grown more frustrated as time passed. He had work to do, after all.

"You have two minutes and then we're leaving." John said as he turned and walked back to the Impala.

Dean sighed and knocked again. Where the hell was Cas? It wasn't like him to be late for something he found to be important. He let out a growl of frustration. What if Cas was taking forever in the hopes that Dean and his father would leave?

_'That's not happening.' _ Dean thought, knocking again.

The door flew open and Cas pushed Dean aside, storming down the small walkway that led up to his house. Dean whirled around just as Cas' mother stormed after her son, screaming at the top of her lungs.

"Castiel Novak, get your sorry ass back here this instant! How dare you disobey me and go off to competition with those whores and bastards?! I have given you everything, provided you with every opportunity, and this is how you repay me?!"

Cas turned and narrowed his eyes. Though there was nothing cold about his expression, Dean felt a shiver go down his spine. "Mother, I am sick and tired of having this conversation with you. I am almost seventeen and perfectly capable of making my own decisions. If I wish to go to a competition with my fellow bandmates, I will. I don't require your blessing, and I don't think I ever will. Now if you're quite down being a pompous bitch, I have to get to school. My friend- actually I'm rather sick of keeping this from you as well. Dean is my boyfriend and he and his father have kindly offered to give me a ride to school. Goodbye." And with that Cas turned and walked over to the Impala.

Dean stood next to the open door, staring at Cas. He had never heard Cas talk like that before. It was pretty hard to get the guy to show any emotion. Dean _had _wished that Cas would stop being so quiet once or twice, but this side of Cas worried him. He glanced at Cas' mother, who seemed to be in a state of shock, and walked over to Cas.

Cas glanced at him, then got in the Impala. Dean furrowed his brow and got in the passenger seat once Cas was settled in the backseat. Was Cas going to keep him at a distance? He looked in the rearview mirror and saw tears pooling out of Cas' eyes. His eyes widened slightly. This certainly was a day of surprises, none of them particularly pleasant.

Cas quickly walked to the band room, desperate to get to the restroom so he could wash his face. He was well aware that it was obvious he'd been crying and knew Dean had seen him crying in the Impala. However, he didn't expect the comfort he was about to receive from his boyfriend.

"Cas! Cas, wait up!" Dean called as he waved goodbye to his father. Cas paused, uncertain. Was Dean going to call him out on the way he'd treated his mother? Cas certainly wouldn't blame him. He had come to learn that family was very important to Dean.

Dean stopped beside him and wrapped his arms around Cas' waist, pulling him close. "Babe, what is it? Why are you so upset?"

Cas' lower lip trembled. He did not want to spill his emotions out to anyone, especially Dean.

"I am f-fine, Dean." Cas mumbled in reply, a slight tremor in his voice.

Dean shook his head and kissed Cas' forehead. Cas choked back tears and clung to Dean's jacket. "C'mon, I'm right here, Cas." Dean murmured.

"I'm tired of it!" Cas cried, digging his fingers into the material of Dean's jacket. Dean rubbed his back and Cas continued, unable to keep up the façade that he was all right any longer. "My mother has the most outrageous expectations, and every time I cannot meet them, she treats me like I am nothing! I miss England! I miss being able to run to my father's house when the punishments became too much to bear. I miss my favorite tree! The only good thing that has happened since I moved here is you!" He buried his face in the fabric of Dean's shirt and sobbed. Dean rocked back and forth slowly as Cas let out gut wrenching sobs before pulling away gently.

"Cas, do you want to move back to England?" He asked quietly, resting his hands on Cas' hips.

"Sometimes, but I would miss you too much." Cas mumbled, looking away. He adjusted the strap on his backpack and walked into the building, leaving a silent Dean behind.

Dean glanced at Cas out of the corner of his eye and frowned. Cas had been eerily silent since they'd gotten to the band room. He had set his things down along with everyone else and Dean had followed suit. After roll call, Cas had shut himself in Mr. Timms office, saying he needed a moment to calm his nerves. Dean, however, knew it was more than that. He had found moving to a new state hard so he could understand Cas' feelings about the matter on a certain level. But there was something Cas wasn't telling him, and it was a hell of a lot stronger than family problems or being homesick.

He sat down on his suitcase and gazed out the window, lost in thought. What if it was something serious? He didn't like Cas keeping something like this from him. It hurt him almost as much as Sammy keeping something bad from him.

The slight creak of Mr. Timms office door opening shook him out of his thoughts. He looked up and saw Cas walk out slowly. His carefully constructed mask was back in place. Dean stood up and grabbed his hand, ignoring the hostile glares directed his way.

"Cas?"

The blue-eyed boy looked up and bite his lip. The mask he had hid behind for so long was breaking, and Dean knew it was only a matter of time before it shattered and left Cas vulnerable to whatever was bothering him.

"We're going to rock at competition, right?"

Cas smiled slightly and nodded. "Yes. I believe we will."

Cas sat in his seat, back ramrod straight, and gazed out the window. He was curious about this competition experience and, if he were completely honest with himself, a little nervous and excited as well. He had never been to anything so grand. He mentally berated himself.

_'Only you would find a high school band competition 'grand'.' _ He thought, frowning slightly. Dean looked over at him and held his hand. Though it was a small gesture, it gave Cas a shred of hope to cling to.

"So you think the judges are gonna be tough?" Another band member asked her friend. Cas fidgeted in his seat and tightened his grip on Dean's hand.

"Yeah, probably. This is the all-state competition, remember?" Her friend replied, rolling her eyes. Cas swallowed back bile. The first band competition he was participating in was the _all-state _competition? He moaned softly and slowly slid down in his seat. There was no way he was good enough for this.

Dean squeezed his hand. "Hey. You okay?" Cas rested his head on Dean's shoulder and closed his eyes. Dean wrapped an arm around Cas' shoulders and murmured. "Hey, it's all gonna be okay."

"But there will be bands from all over the state there and they'll all be fantastic! I can't possibly compete with any of them! I am going to mess this up for everyone and then Mr. Timms will kick me out!" He took a deep breath, steadying himself. He pulled away from Dean and looked down. "I apologize, Dean. I should not have behaved in such a ridiculous manner."

"Ridiculous? Cas, there's nothing wrong with being a little nervous, especially since it's your first competition."

Cas flushed and stared at his clasped hands intently. Dean was so understanding, but Cas didn't see how his idiotic behavior warranted such kindness.

"I am fine, Dean." He insisted, looking over at the green-eyed boy. Dean rolled his eyes and pulled Cas closer, placing a kiss on his cheek.

"Whatever you say, Cas." Dean muttered with a sigh. Cas fidgeted for a moment, then leaned against Dean, closing his eyes. He wasn't tired, but he wanted to ignore a good part of the world at the moment. The only person he felt like being with was Dean. Everything else brought up too many negative emotions.

The two spent most of the bus ride in silence.

Mr. Timms flitted around the lobby of their hotel, double checking the list of students and making sure everyone had their luggage.

"He's paranoid, isn't he?" Dean murmured, turning to look at Cas. Cas smiled slightly and looked down at the circular rug that covered a good portion of the lobby floor. Dean let go of the handle on his suitcase and studied Cas. Over the course of the three hours they'd spent on the bus, Cas had become more withdrawn, only speaking or moving if he had to.

_'Does he think I'll tell his mom what's going on? Is that why he won't tell me? Well, I'm bound to figure it out at some point. We are sharing a room after all.' _ Dean thought, frowning.

Mr. Timms walked over and handed Dean a room key. "You and Cas are in Room 509. Please let me know when you're settled in." Dean nodded and Mr. Timms dashed off to give someone else instructions. Dean turned to Cas.

"You ready to go up to the room?" He asked, hoping Cas would actually _say _something. Cas looked up and nodded. Dean bit his lip and walked over to the elevators. He would get Cas to talk eventually, but for now it was time to focus on the matter at hand: the competition.

Cas stared at the ceiling, certain he was going to throw up. He grimaced and put a hand on his stomach. He hadn't realized how grand an affair this competition was. He rolled over, trying to get comfortable. Performing in the showcase had been bad enough. There was absolutely no hope of him performing even somewhat decently here.

_'There is no way that this is going to end well.' _ He thought as he kicked the blankets off his body. He was definitely going to throw up.

He ran to the bathroom and fell to his knees, groaning as he emptied the contents of his stomach. He clutched his stomach and closed his eyes. He had made a grave mistake.

"Cas, what's going on?" Cas looked up and saw Dean leaning against the doorframe. Dean rubbed his eyes sleepily and walked over to Cas.

"I can't do this, Dean." Cas mumbled, flushing the toilet. "It is too nerve wracking."

Dean kneeled down in front of him and pulled him close. "Cas," He murmured sleepily. "Don't be stupid. Your life doesn't depend on us winning this competition. I mean, it'd be nice if we won, but it's no big deal if we don't. Besides, we don't perform for a couple days."

Cas nodded and hugged Dean quickly before getting up and going back to bed.

Dean followed and curled up next to Cas, wrapping his arms around him. Cas smiled slightly. There was a slight possibility that Dean was right. It wasn't like his future depended on this competition.

Dean looked around the intricate hallways and wondered if he was right to tell Cas this competition wasn't a big deal. Mr. Timms had been acting off all morning and Dean was worried he was going to make one of his "special" announcements.

"Students," Mr. Timms began, turning around to face the class. Dean bit his lip as Mr. Timms smiled at each of them and continued. "I am proud of all of you for making it this far and this year will be far more interesting than any competition before it."

"What do you mean?" Natalia asked, crossing her arms across her chest.

"This year there will be individual events that we are all going to participate in. Depending on how well you do, you may be awarded a scholarship."

"To where?" Benji asked.

"To one of three prestigious music schools in the country." Mr. Timms finished, beaming.

Dean shoved his hands into his pockets and took a deep breath, trying to calm himself. Though it would be nice to win a scholarship, it wasn't number one on his list of priorities. However, he knew Cas would take this development seriously. He looked over at the blue-eyed boy standing next to him, expecting to see sheer panic on Cas' face.

Cas was looking at Mr. Timms calmly. There wasn't a hint of emotion on his face. Dean frowned. He'd seen Cas do this before. Before he could say anything, Mr. Timms gestured for the group to follow them.

Mr. Timms led them to the main auditorium at the college and instructed them to sit down near the back. Dean looked around, awed in spite of himself. He knew that the college they would be competing at would be sophisticated, but he hadn't been expecting it to look so goddamned fancy.

The walls of the auditorium were a deep crème color and the silver sconces in the wall were intricately carved into drops of falling rain. The carpet was slightly darker than the walls and the seats were arranged in a semicircle around the stage. The stage itself was pretty bare, only holding enough chairs to seat each band and framed with dark red curtains.

Dean watched as Cas sat down in the corner and followed, sitting down next to him. Cas looked up and studied Dean for a moment before smiling and turning back to the stage. Dean raised an eyebrow, deciding right then he would never understand Cas' moods.

They watched two other bands perform that day and Dean had to admit that they weren't half bad. The first performed several songs that had been popular on the radio lately, and the second performed songs from _Harry Potter. _Dean clapped along with the rest of the audience, but his heart wasn't really into it. Despite what he had told Cas, he was a little nervous about performing in front of judges and it was pretty damn obvious that the bands they were up against were good.

Mr. Timms led them out of the auditorium and to a small, family-owned restaurant that was just down the street from the college. Dean was pleased to see that there was pie on the menu. Pie made everything better.

Cas woke up bright and early the next morning. It would be their turn to perform today and Cas had resigned himself to his fate. If he ruined things for everyone, he would simply quit the band and find another elective. Though it pained him to even consider it, he knew it would be best for everyone if he left. He had also decided that he would quit if he didn't win a scholarship. He was well aware that it sounded like a typical bratty teenage thing to do, but Mr. Timms had pulled him aside after dinner the other night and had told Cas that he and the school board were expecting Cas to win a scholarship. Cas closed his eyes and took a deep breath. The individual competitions for their band were scheduled an hour after their group performance. Cas sat up and rubbed his eyes. He was as ready as he'd ever be.

Mr. Timms checked the seating arrangement a second time before he left, smiling warmly at each and every one of them before he shut the door. It looked more like a warning to Cas. He put the mouthpiece of his saxophone to his lips and looked straight ahead. Next to him, Dean did the same as he shifted in his seat. Cas smiled around the mouthpiece, remembering Mr. Timms panicking when he realized that he had two saxophone players in the same chair. After resigning himself to placing them next to each other, he had gone about the rest of his business. Cas knew it bothered him that he had two people in the same chair and wondered if he should have listened to Dean all those weeks ago.

The curtain went up and a hush went over the audience. Mr. Timms walked onstage and beamed at the audience before turning to the band. He raised his hands and the band began to play as he moved his hands. Cas could feel the audience's surprise and was curious to know what the judges thought about their choice of music.

The band had come to the mutual agreement that they would play both Panic At The Disco and Sonic Syndicate. Each member had learned two whole albums, one for each band. Cas closed his eyes and began to play faster. He had practiced night and day. He knew Mr. Timms movements by heart.

After a two hour performance, Mr. Timms gestured for them to stand and bow. Cas carefully put his saxophone down before bowing and sitting down again. All he could think about was how thirsty he was. Thoughts of how badly he had just done were the last thing on his mind. Mr. Timms told the class that they were free to whatever they wanted for the next hour, so Cas picked up his saxophone and went to find a water fountain or vending machine.

Cas sat on a bench outside, guzzling a Dr. Pepper. He lowered the bottle, panting slightly. He had come outside for some air, deciding that the hallways now reeked of perfume, sweat, and desperation. He had also come to another decision. He wouldn't be performing in any individual competition. He would hide outside until everyone was done, and then he would claim that he'd thrown up. He finished the rest of his soda and threw the bottle away. Now would be a good time to find that hiding place.

Dean leaned against the wall and looked around for what had to be the third time.

Students were clustered in little groups, talking and laughing until it was their turn to perform. None of them looked the slightest bit nervous. Dean looked down at his phone, though he knew he hadn't received any new messages. He had been texting Cas for the last fifteen minutes, asking him where he was and if he was okay. Cas hadn't answered and Dean was a bundle of nerves. What if something had happened? What if Cas had gotten sick and had tried to find his way back to the hotel on his own? Dean wouldn't put it past him. Mr. Timms walked over, wringing his hands nervously.

"Any news yet, Dean?" He asked, biting his lower lip. Dean shook his head and Mr. Timms sighed and left to go talk with another student. Dean watched him go, wondering if he'd pressured Cas into doing something for the competition.

"Dean Winchester!" Dean grabbed his case and walked into the small room. He didn't have time to worry about Cas or wonder about Mr. Timms ulterior motives. It was his turn.

A man with graying hair smiled at him and gestured for him to take a seat. "Hello, Dean. Do you mind if I call you that?" Dean shook his head and the man continued. "My name is Mr. Ryan and I will be your judge today." Dean had to repress a laugh. Mr. Ryan had put it as if he were Dean's nurse or something like that.

"Hey, Mr. Ryan." He muttered, sitting down. He opened his case and took out his sax. Mr. Ryan sat down across from him, clipboard in hand.

"And what will you be playing?"

"'Just One Yesterday' by Fallout Boy," Dean replied, putting the mouthpiece to his lips. Mr. Ryan nodded and held his pen at the ready. Dean took a deep breath and began playing. He knew he sounded good. He'd been practicing for a while now.

When he was finished, Mr. Ryan smiled and wrote a few more things down on his clipboard. When he was finished, he looked up at Dean.

"That was certainly a spectacular performance. You'll find out about the scholarships tomorrow, though I see no reason why you should be worried." Dean nodded and put his sax back in the case.

"Thank you, Mr. Ryan." He muttered as he grabbed his case and left.

Once he was outside of the room, he looked up and down the hallway. Cas still wasn't there. After leaving his sax with Mr. Timms, he ran outside, determined to find Cas and rip his ass. Out of love, of course.

Cas looked down and climbed out of the tree when he heard Dean yelling for him. Dean didn't sound happy.

"Hello, Dean," He murmured calmly, meeting Dean's angry green eyes with emotionless blue ones.

"That's all you've got to say?! Where the hell were you, Castiel?!" Dean yelled.

"You wouldn't understand, but that is because I haven't told you. I decided I wouldn't perform in an individual competition and fail miserably. I refuse to mess anything up for anyone." Cas explained calmly, watching as Dean's fingers curled into fists.

"Cas, that is so fucking stupid! Everyone is worried sick!" Cas raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, I doubt that. No one cares about the oddly quiet foreigner."

"I do, you idiot!" Dean snapped, bringing his hand back and punching Cas in the jaw. Cas fell back against the tree and looked up at Dean in shock. Dean had punched him! Dean was supposed to be the one who protected him! He stood up and glared at Dean.

"If you cared, you would just leave me alone!" Cas screamed. "I knew becoming close to someone was a mistake! I should have listened to my father and stayed in England! I would rather live with my twisted, crazed father then spend one more moment with someone who thinks they can fix all my problems with one damn hug!" He narrowed his eyes, forcing the tears back. Dean was staring at him, eyes wide and frightened. Cas walked forward and hissed. "If you follow me, I will kill you." He shoved Dean as hard as he could and stormed off, past the point of caring if he got into trouble.

He was done with America, done with dealing with morons and whores that thought they could change his sexuality, and done with Dean Winchester.

Dean sat up front with Mr. Timms, looking for a sign of Cas. He hadn't told Mr. Timms that he'd gotten into a fight with Cas. Mr. Timms didn't even know that Dean had found Cas. Dean sighed and looked out the window. He had never seen Cas look so pissed and he was determined to fix what he'd done. He knew that he had things to apologize for, but Cas was at fault too. And if Dean was completely honest with himself, it hurt like hell that Cas had screamed at him and said those things. But he still loved Cas and was determined to make things work.

"There he is! In that bookstore!" Tara yelled, pointing at a bookstore. The bus driver, Ms. McNeil, pulled into the parking lot and Mr. Timms hurried out of the bus, followed closely by Dean and the rest of the band.

Mr. Timms stopped outside the store and turned to look at the class. "Please wait out here while I talk to Castiel. I am not sure what happened and I don't want to upset him any further." He glanced at Dean. "Dean, please come with me. You seem to be good friends with Castiel." Dean nodded and followed Mr. Timms into the store.

Cas was sitting in an arm chair, reading manga. Dean raised an eyebrow. He hadn't known Cas was into anime.

_'Now's not the time.' _ He mentally scolded himself, following Mr. Timms.

Mr. Timms stopped in front of Cas and kneeled down in front of him. "Castiel? Is everything all right?"

Cas looked up, and Dean noticed that Cas was very pale. The mark from where Dean had punched him was gone. "Yes, Mr. Timms." He mumbled. "I threw up so I came here. I was too nervous to stay at the college. I'm sorry if I worried anyone or caused any trouble."

Mr. Timms stood. "It's all right, Castiel. Everyone gets nervous sometimes. Just let someone know where you are next time." Cas nodded and closed the manga, standing up slowly. Mr. Timms turned to Dean. "Please stay here with Castiel." Dean nodded and Mr. Timms left.

Dean turned to Cas and bit his lip. Cas put the manga back on his shelf and turned to look at Dean, narrowing his eyes.

"Cas, we need to talk-" Dean began, but Cas interrupted.

"There is nothing to talk about." He replied coldly, walking past Dean. Dean sighed. He had expected that Cas might still be upset. He shook his head and followed Cas. One way or the other, he would get Cas to talk to him. He wasn't ready to let his blue-eyed angel go.

_I caused problems! I told you there would be more in this chapter! Again I'm sorry the chapter is late, but I'm posting another chapter tonight so hopefully that helps a little. Anyway, thank you to anyone who has followed, favorited, reviewed, or even read this fic. I really appreciate it! See you soon!_


	8. Quite the Eye-Opener

_So if anyone wants to kill me after this, I totally understand…And I hope the competition chapter was okay…I want to say thank you to Eric Kripke and everyone else involved with _Supernatural. _If it wasn't for them, I wouldn't have anything to write about it. I also want to thank my amazing beta (who probably did hit me with a few bricks after reading this…). She was actually the one who got me into _SPN _in the first place. This fic honestly wouldn't exist if she hadn't told me about the show. Anyway, I'm going to go prepare my eulogy and all that stuff. _

Dean sat on his bed, chewing on the inside of his cheek. Something was wrong. Cas had barely talked to him for the rest of competition and had completely cut off contact from him when they'd gotten home. The only good thing that had come from competition was the scholarship, but Dean couldn't really be happy about it when he knew there was something up with Cas. He knew others would interpret it as a break up, but Dean knew there was far more to it than that. Cas was an honest person. If he had wanted to break up with Dean, he would have done so at the bookstore.

He sighed and grabbed his phone. He was done playing games. It was time to confront Castiel.

He quickly typed out a message and read it over before hitting 'send'. He was going to be careful about what he said around Cas from now on.

_Hey, I'm sorry about what happened, but we really need to talk about this. I'll be at your house in ten minutes. No questions._

He nodded and hit 'send'. It was straightforward and simple. Cas couldn't possibly interpret it as offensive. His phone went off and Dean quickly picked it up, praying that it was Cas. He smiled slightly when he saw Cas' name on his screen. He quickly opened the message and read it.

_Please don't go to my house, Dean. It will not accomplish anything. I am not even at my house right now. I am at my father's hotel. I know that we need to talk about what happened, but I can't. It is not that I don't want to. I really do want to see you, but my father is taking me back to England in an hour._

Dean's eyes widened and he quickly typed out a reply, hitting 'send'.

_You're moving back to England?! And you just now decide to tell me about it? Which hotel is your father staying at?! I'm leaving my house right now._

He grabbed his jacket and pulled it on before grabbing his phone and running out of the house. He would not let Cas move away without resolving things. Hell, he didn't even plan on letting Cas move.

He got in the Impala and quickly pulled out of the driveway, narrowly missing some stupid kid's bike. He glanced at his phone screen, hoping Cas would grace him with an answer a second time. His phone went off and he pulled over to the side of the road. He unlocked his phone and quickly read the message.

_The Gardenia. Dean, please don't come. My father isn't…stable. I don't want you _

Dean stared at the screen for a second, in complete and utter denial. Cas hadn't just told him that, had he? He reread the message and noticed something. Cas was picky about punctuation. He always put a period or something at the end of his messages. Dean frowned and shoved his phone in his pocket before pulling back onto the road. Either Cas had hit 'send' too early or something had happened. Something told Dean it was the latter.

He pulled into the parking lot of The Gardenia and got out of the car, hurrying towards the entrance. He pushed through the people in the lobby and walked up to the front desk.

"Excuse me? Have you seen someone named Castiel Novak today? He came here to visit his father and he forgot to tell me the room number." Dean forced himself to smile and act like there wasn't anything wrong.

The lady standing behind the desk smiled at him and chuckled. "Oh, yes. People can be pretty forgetful sometimes, can't they? His father is in Room 491."

Dean nodded, unable to believe how trusting the woman was. "Thank you. I appreciate it." The woman smiled warmly and returned her attention to some papers. Dean jogged towards the elevators and hit the button for the fourth floor, tapping his foot impatiently as the doors closed.

He stared at the numbers intently, hoping that if he stared at them long enough they would pick up the pace. He didn't have time for a view of The Gardenia's lobby. He had to get to Cas.

When the elevator finally reached the fourth floor, Dean squeezed between the doors and ran down the hallway, looking for the right room number.

He almost ran past it. He stopped, nearly tripping, as he looked over his shoulder. There it was. Room 491. He walked up to the door and knocked on it, trying to remind himself that the door belonged to the hotel and the manager would not be pleased if he kicked it down.

A tall, tan man answered the door. Other than his hair color and the shape of his jaw, he didn't resemble Cas at all. He looked down at Dean and raised an eyebrow.

"Can I help you?" His voice was gruff and heavily accented, though Dean couldn't place the accent. It certainly wasn't Cas' beautiful British accent.

"I'm here to see Cas." He explained, shoving his hands in his pockets. "I wanted to say goodbye."

Cas' father sneered. "Oh, you did, did you? Well, I told that no good son of a bitch not to tell anyone I was taking him back to England. But since you're here, you may as well come in, though I should warn you. You may not like what you're about to see." He moved aside so Dean could enter the room. Dean bit back a retort and walked in, wanting nothing more than to punch that bastard in the throat. No one talked about Cas like that. However, those thoughts soon left his mind when he saw Cas curled up on the bed.

Cas was completely naked except for a towel that covered his bottom half. His face was covered in cuts and bruises. His chest and stomach were both carved with strange symbols and burns covered parts of his body. His arms were tied over his head and his legs were tied to the bedposts.

Cas' father walked over and slapped Cas across the face. Cas cried out in pain and closed his eyes, trying to move away from his father.

"I told you to text your mother, not your whore!" His father hissed, spit flying out of his mouth. "I knew I should've checked your messages!" Cas whimpered and his father growled, reaching under the bed for something. "Should we give you more medicine?" Cas opened his eyes and shook his head.

"P-please, Father…" He whimpered, looking at his father pleadingly. His father held up a syringe and Dean snapped. The guy was drugging his own kid! He ran at Cas' father and shoved him against the wall. Cas' father, taken by surprise, fell over and dropped the syringe. Dean brought his foot back and kicked him in the ribs, then the groin. Cas' father groaned and curled into a ball, moaning in pain. Dean brought his foot back again and kicked the man in the face, grinning when he felt the guy's nose break. He turned to Cas and looked at the ropes.

"How am I going to get these off?" He mumbled before remembering the pocketknife his father had given him. It had come in handy after all, even though it was meant to protect him from pedophiles and muggers. He pulled it out of his pocket and quickly cut the ropes. Cas curled in on himself, moaning in pain. Dean turned to look at Cas' father and growled. The guy was sitting up, wincing. Dean grabbed the lamp off the nightstand, ripping the cord out of the wall, and hit Cas' father over the head with it. The man cried out in pain and Dean hit him a couple more times, watching in satisfaction as he fell over, blood running down his temples. He turned back to Cas and pulled off his jacket, wrapping it around Cas along with a blanket. Cas cried out in pain and Dean noticed some of his injuries were still oozing blood and a few of the wounds looked like they were infected. He had to get Cas to a hospital. He carefully picked the blue-eyed boy up and carried him out of the room, cradling him against his chest.

One of the maids looked over and let out a small scream, staring at Cas with a mixture of worry and terror. Dean glanced at her.

"The man in Room 491 did this. He was abusing his kid. You should probably call the cops." He muttered, walking towards the elevators. The maid nodded and ran off.

Dean hurried out of the hotel, wishing that elevators went faster. Cas was falling in and out of consciousness and Dean knew that wasn't a good thing. He gently put Cas into the passenger seat and kissed his forehead. He would have to keep him awake. He quickly got into the driver's seat and pulled out of the parking lot, heading towards the main highway.

"Cas, baby, why would your father do that to you?" He asked, forcing keeping his eyes on the road.

Cas shifted, wincing, and mumbled. "He is…" Cas moaned and moved again, trying to get comfortable. Dean sped up.

"He's what, baby?"

"From Ireland." Cas mumbled weakly.

"And why would he do those things to you, Cas?" Dean asked, smiling in relief when he saw the turnoff for the hospital.

"Believes in old ways…" Cas whispered, panting heavily.

Dean pulled into a parking spot, nearly hitting two cars and an old woman in the process. He got out and ran over to the other side, opening Cas' door. He cradled Cas against his chest and shut the door, running towards the hospital, murmuring apologies as Cas whimpered and cried out in pain. Cas needed medical attention. Now.

Sam watched his brother walk in circles and frowned. When he'd heard his dad answer the phone, he'd assumed it was someone from his work. He hadn't expected Dean to be calling from the hospital because his boyfriend was hurt. He smirked, even though the current situation really didn't warrant it. Dean had thought his kid brother wouldn't notice that he had a boyfriend, let alone that he was gay. Sometimes Dean forgot that Sam knew him better than anyone else in the world.

His dad stopped Dean and murmured something. Dean shook his head and put his face in his hands. Sam frowned again. He had never seen his big brother cry before, and right now it really looked like Dean wanted to break down and cry.

A nurse walked into the waiting room and said something quietly. Dean shook his head and muttered something. The nurse smiled sympathetically and gestured towards a hallway.

"Would you like to go visit him?" He asked kindly. Dean nodded and followed the nurse down the hallway. Sam let out a sigh of relief. They'd been sitting in the waiting room for nearly three hours. He fidgeted for a moment, then ran after Dean and the nurse. His dad smiled tiredly, letting him go.

He ran up to Dean, almost falling over. Dean turned quickly and caught him, trying to smile.

"Sammy, what are you doing?"

"I want to see Cas too."

The nurse jumped in, much to Sam's annoyance. "How about you let your brother check on him first and then I'll come and get you and your father?" Sam thought about it for a moment, then nodded. The nurse smiled and turned back around. Dean followed him, looking over his shoulder as he waved at Sam. Sam waved and went back to the waiting room.

He liked Cas. Not as much as Dean did obviously, but Cas was nice to him. All of Dean's other friends treated him like Dean's baby brother, but Dean always stood up for him. Sam felt his fingers curl into fists. Dean was his family and he didn't want him to be upset.

_I fully expect death by brick and I don't blame anyone. And Sammy showed up! Hello, Sammy! Anyway, I hope you guys are still enjoying reading this. See you soon!_


	9. A Hushed Discussion

_I realize I disappeared and ignored my system, but I just could not work up the energy to write anything for any of my stories. Worst case of writer's block ever, I swear. That, and my system was causing a great deal of stress. That's why I've decided on a new system. I hope this one works better than my last idea. Anyway, I'm sorry the chapter is so short. Hopefully the next one is longer. (No more empty promises! I am a terrible person…) Thank you to Eric Kripke and all the other wonderful people who are involved with _Supernatural! _My beta also deserves a thank you for actually agreeing to read this and dealing with my crap. Anywho…hope you guys enjoy!_

Dean held Cas' hand tightly, willing him to wake up. The nurse had warned Dean that Cas might not wake up for a while, but Dean wasn't willing to believe it. Cas was stubborn. He wouldn't let something as trivial as pain medication keep him away from Dean.

"Or maybe I'm just being selfish." He muttered, gazing at Cas. The doctor had told him that they had managed to take care of all the wounds and had assured Dean that Cas wouldn't suffer from any physical permanent damage. His emotional state was an entirely different story.

"Please wake up, Cas. I'll protect you from that piss poor excuse of a human. I'll cheer you up when you're sad, and I'll take you out when you're bored. I'll dance to that classical stuff you like, and I'll hold you in my arms. I'll protect you from everything that has ever hurt you, I promise, but you gotta wake up. Please. I need you, Cas. I love you." Dean was well aware that he sounded desperate, but he didn't give a shit. He wouldn't have been able to, anyway. All that mattered was Cas waking up.

Pain. That was the first feeling Cas registered. He groaned and tried to shift into a more comfortable position. Someone helped him curl up on his side and he mumbled a few words of gratitude. That was when he realized he was able to discern another feeling other than the burning sensation that seemed to have taken control of his body. He could feel someone's warm strong hands cradling his face and rubbing his back. He blinked his eyes open slowly, praying that this wasn't a hallucination brought on by the "medicine" his father had been giving him.

Dean smiled tiredly at him and, despite everything that had happened that day, Cas blushed. Dean's smile disappeared, worry and concern filling his beautiful green eyes.

"Hey, Cas. You okay? Is it too hot? Do you need some water? Do you need more pain meds? I can call the nurse in-"

Cas weakly held up a hand, stifling a giggle. Dean's concern warmed his heart, but he knew things between them would never ever be the same. Oh, but how he wished they could be…

"Dean, I do not require anything. I am just…sore. I am also more than a little surprised that you are sitting by my bed in a hospital room."

Dean looked away, shifting uncomfortably. Cas knew something was bothering him and that it had nothing to do with the current situation.

"What is it, Dean?"

"Why didn't you tell me? I mean, I guess I understand why, but how come you never asked anyone for help?" The words rushed out of Dean, almost as if he'd been thinking them over and over for quite some time and could no longer hold the questions in.

"I feared my father, but I also held a small shred of respect for him. I had never known anyone else who worshipped the ancient gods and followed the old ways. I was intrigued. I had never dreamed that he would take his religious beliefs to such extreme measures. I suppose I was also in denial. He has been treating me like that since I was a young child."

Dean's expression was a mixture of horror and something else that Cas couldn't quite name. He held back tears and focused on the white sheets. He should have expected this. No one, not even Dean Winchester, would be able to hear about his twisted childhood and still love him. No one would ever know the true Castiel.

"I never thought it odd, but I didn't have many friends. I did not know what a true childhood was meant to be like. Scars and burns were considered abuse, and games of catch and ice cream cones were considered the norm. My mother eventually caught on, though I now suspect she knew but was too cowardly to do anything, and we moved to America. I would never have believed that my father would follow us here." He swallowed past the lump in his throat. "Dean, I understand if you're disgusted by me. I am truly nauseated by my own warped point of view, but I would appreciate it if you told me how you felt before leaving me. It would also be nice if you did not leave without notice." Dean stared at him, green eyes incredulous.

"Cas, I would never ever leave you! Ever! I love you! Besides, I'm too weak to leave you." He laughed sadly. Cas took a deep breath and closed his eyes, clinging to Dean's hand.

"I do not get it." He mumbled. "I am sure there are many people, both male and female, who are waiting for the chance to be that one special person in your life. Why would you choose someone like me?"

Dean squeezed his hand. "Castiel, I don't know what lies your father told you, but none of it is true. You're talented and kind and smart and beautiful. And all those other people? I couldn't give two shits about their feelings for me. You're the only one I care about." Dean said, lowering his voice as he kissed the back of Cas' hand. Cas let out a choked sound, trembling. It had been so long since anyone had accepted him…Cas was quite certain that such a thing had never occurred before.

Dean gently wiped away the tears and murmured, "Believe me yet?" Cas nodded and let out a sob. Dean murmured soothing nonsense, rubbing his back. Cas knew he had done nothing to deserve such kindness, and he knew without a shadow of doubt that something would come along and ruin it. Nothing ever went this well for him. Ever.

_I realize this is utterly depressing, and I suppose I could apologize, but I don't see the point. However, if your desire to brick me to death is still strong, I understand. Anyway…hopefully my new system works better than the old one, and I hope you enjoyed the chapter. See you soon!_


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